Hello from Mexico!
I’m trying something new. I am blogging from my phone. I am also dictating this post. So we will see how this goes!
I was meditating and I had an epiphany. I wanted to share it with you before I forgot.
I have been so mean to myself in the past. I am sure some of you can relate. Think about those things that you beat up on yourself for. You probably haven’t been very nice yourself about those things.
My best example in this instance is my body and how overweight it became. I have been so atrociously mean and awful to myself with regards to my weight and also just my body and general. I have just been the biggest b****. I have starved it, beaten it, ran it into the ground until it couldn’t go anymore, literally, as in stayed up for 3 days straight, or ran for 14 miles with no fuel, this kind of stuff. I have attempted so many different ways and diets of beating this body into submission in being the way I want it to be and looking the way I want it to look.
And I’m just tired. And it’s just tired. My body just keeps going and going with this abuse. And it’s just incredible how much abuse there has been. To the point that I literally put it under general anesthesia and cut part of it off. And I need to stop.
My body is amazing. It has done amazing things. It has been through so much yet it’s still here. I have fed it so much crap and yet I’m still healthy. I have been really bad at fueling it properly. I have been really bad at taking care of it and maintaining it. And I can do so much better. It is a wonderful machine. It is the best machine I have ever owned or ever will own. I have been s*** at taking care of it and maintaining it. I really need to start doing better. I need to start checking in more. Asking it how it’s doing. Checking its fuel levels , checking its other levels I don’t even know what they are but I need to be more Mindful and aware of taking care of my body instead of ignoring it and forcing it to do what I think it needs. Perhaps I need to ask it what it needs instead and just do that. It does not need all that sugar. It does need way more water though. More sleep. More time to rest. More meditation. More mindful eating. Just some different things that I don’t even quite understand yet.
I would encourage you all to take that part of you that you hate and try to separate it from you. Create a physical construct of it in your mind. Really look at it. And try to love it. Because it’s part of you. It is you. It’s pretty healing and profound.