Someone just asked me this.
“When is the last time you were honest with someone, and you wish that you weren’t?”
I’ve been racking my brain for 24 hours and I seriously can’t remember a single instance.
This was seriously eye opening because I spend a lot of time sparing people’s feelings by fudging the truth or just not saying anything at all.
In contrast, I regret plenty of times I held my tongue, didn’t stand up for myself, or shifted the truth to benefit someone else’s feelings, but I genuinely cannot even remember a single time I regretted just stating my truth.
Could I have been a bit more tactful about it when I’ve been honest? Sure, of course. I get emotional at times and in the past, that has caused my delivery to suffer. I regret maybe causing a little bit more harm than necessary when I was delivering some tough blows. But I can’t remember the last time I wish I had lied. And, some of those blows, as uncomfortable as they were, you know what? Perhaps they needed to be stated.
So, tasks I’m working on learning:
My choices and reasons for my choices are enough, because I have good intentions and do my best to be a good person. I never have to apologize for them.
The only person my reasons have to be good enough for is myself, and no one else has the right to judge the reasons or my choices.
Being aware of where I stand, in the moment where it matters, and owning my truth in the moment.
Instead of caring so much about other people’s feelings and reactions, I simply need to pay more attention to my own feelings and reactions, and work on stating those when needed. I can’t control other people’s feelings or reactions. Just mine. Other people’s feelings and reactions aren’t my responsibility. Just mine.