Have Compassion for the People Who Bother You Most

Чего сказал? – Photo: daniilr via Flickr, used under Creative Commons License (By 2.0)

Friend: This guy Larry – he was intriguing
Me:         You disliked him at first
Friend: Because tbh he really rubbed me the wrong way and I thought he was kind of a dick. But I realize I’m not going to like everyone I can learn things from
Me:        Of course. So you still don’t like him?
Friend: And I still think he’s got his own areas of growth to work on even though he’s brilliant and educated. haha nope. I still don’t LOL. He’s very arrogant
Me:        Everyone has ‘growing edges’ – absolutely everyone. Anyway, so that’s interesting that you would say that in light of the fact that your current focus is humility. I feel like this experience is showing you something. I don’t know what exactly.
Friend: Maybe he’s a warning – to me – to never think I’m so brilliant and educated that I can’t be gracious when someone holds a door open for me
Me:         He’s triggering you. Why is he triggering you? That’s what you have to work on – that trigger. He probably doesn’t trigger most people the same way he triggers you
Friend: Hmm…. maybe. He was quite the prima donna. It’s a good question- what is the trigger?
Me:         Okay so Larry’s arrogant. So what, you know? You don’t know if he lacks graciousness. Maybe he was really stressed out or something is on his mind. Maybe the message is compassion because although <name redacted, person we both know> was extremely arrogant, he was also extremely insecure and it was a coping mechanism
Friend:  Yeah I know and I actually liked <name redacted> even though I could see those things about him too.  Maybe he was extremely insecure.  So at one point- Larry’s talking about some heavy shit – a lot of talk about when you die you can no longer bury anything and fool yourself and you will be faced with all your potential that you wasted, but you will lament because you no longer have a body and can’t do anything, but that split second will be timeless and seem like a billion years and that’s what hell is. Someone actually commented after about how it was heavy and made him feel down, and Larry was all taken aback and kinda told him off and complained later about how he was disrespected.
Me:        So Larry thinks there’s going to be a hell where he’s faced with all his insecurities. He thinks he’s wasting his own potential. And that he’s fooling himself.
Friend: I guess you can’t really take him out of that equation if he’s telling everyone that’s what happens at the end of this life
Me:        It feels heavy to me too
Friend: yes it is heavy sure
Me:       How does he know what will happen?
Friend:  How does anyone know? I don’t think they do
Me:       He is just like us taking our life experiences and putting it through our mental filters.  So he’s carrying around all this heaviness.  And he’s filtering everything through it.
Friend:  oh you mean he’s struggling to understand just like us? yeah..
Me:  Yeah though he is so insecure he’s not allowing himself to admit that…

And I’m seeing this situation pop up for me in my own life multiple ways right now.  And I’m reminded to try to acknowledge the humanity in others in my own life, allow it, and accept their imperfections, rather than letting it rile you up and impact your experience.  Because no one is worth giving them the power to impact your own life experience, and how you approach this day/week/life.  Acknowledging a trigger, and working through it, is a really great opportunity for expanding your own “edge of growth” just a bit more.  🙂

I hope this post made you think!  It did for me and I enjoyed putting it together.
Kasia

 

Leave a Reply