You Can Do It Alone – But Maybe You Shouldn’t

I consider myself a very capable and self-sufficient person and I think most of my readers do as well. We think we can do it ourselves and don’t think we need to involve other people in our “stuff”.

We think things like…

  • I don’t want to burden them
  • I don’t want to tell people and then fail, and be embarrassed
  • I don’t want to go public with my goals
  • I’m uncomfortable with asking for help

I definitely think all of those things from time to time.

But very few people are genuinely able to reach a major goal and stay there without help and encouragement from someone else.  Studies show us consistently that having someone in your corner makes you more likely to succeed.

If you decide to involve someone else in your pursuit they can:

Keep you motivated

If you’re lacking motivation, you have someone to go to in order help you remember why you’re pursuing your goal in the first place.  Tell them what you want and why.  Tell them your discouragements, and your person can put them into what is probably a more realistic perspective.

Build your self-confidence

The person you choose can help you focus on your past accomplishments and help you give yourself credit for the things you have done and are doing right.  If you fall off of your plan, your person can help you get back on track and remind you of why you started.  Your person can empower you and help you overcome your helplessness.

Give you constructive criticism

If you share your pursuits with others, they may see blind spots that you didn’t even know you had.  They may have solutions for you that you may not have considered, or foresee problems that you didn’t even know could be problems.  They may save you time, effort, and money.

Help you solve your problems

You WILL encounter some.  Two life experiences double the amount of material to be drawn from to find a solution.

Keep you accountable

Knowing someone else is keeping tabs on you can be motivational in its own right.  If you can’t pursue your goal for its own sake, perhaps you can do it for the sake of your person.

Help you take on a more useful perspective

Try to maintain the voice of your person in your head when you’re struggling.  What would he/she say right now?  

So who should this person be?

It can really be anyone as long as you find them helpful, and truly the more support you have the higher you can fly, but just one source can do a world of good.

I regularly posted to an online forum while I was pursuing early retirement.  I talked to those close to me about it as well.

I hired a personal trainer while I was losing 100 pounds, since no one I knew had ever successfully done it.  I actively eliminated people that frequently pulled me off of my plan.

And in case you were wondering, this post is courtesy of me deciding to stop going it alone, and talking to someone about problems I’ve been having… and I actively eliminate people from my life who don’t believe in what I’m trying to accomplish here.

So it does work. 🙂

Can you commit to finding yourself some support today?  One of the ways we make our goals stick is to do something immediately after resolving to take action.  In this case – you can do two things – make a comment about your commitment about who you might choose and why, and you can go get that person in your corner!  And if this post helped you do that, let me know, I’d love that! 🙂

If you’re striking out trying to find someone, I can help.

Best of luck,
Kasia

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