Step 1 to making a change: Get disgusted with the status quo

This Just In: Eating like shit makes you feel like shit

I actually haven’t been feeling so great the past few days and it’s because I have been eating like total shit.

First of all – I’ve been totally bingeing on artificial sweeteners, knowing that whatever doesn’t get eaten soon will need to be thrown out. And my hunger and cravings have just been off the charts. It’s just insanity. There’s a link there, I just know it. The link is real, at least for me. As uncomfortable as it may be, I just have to nip this in the bud. I started throwing out some of the stuff early. Coffee syrups I didn’t like, sugar free chocolate and maple syrup I couldn’t even stomach anymore. I’m now just down to the industrial strength sucralose- as in, 1/64 tsp is equivalent to a 4 Tablespoons of sugar or something insane like that. I have about 1/4 cup left which would ordinarily last me a couple months, even at the rate I drink them. I also have about a half bottle of EZ Sweets where one drop of liquid is equivalent to 1t of sugar. I’m using 4 to 8 drops at a time. In a way I think overdoing this has been a blessing, because it’s getting to a point where I am almost becoming disgusted with them.

Of course artificial sweeteners, and subsequent cravings, are contributing to the fact that I am totally overdoing carbs, and food in general. Mainly because of the Eat What Ya Got plan I’ve been doing which is not working the way I had originally intended. I had thought by limiting the variety of the foods I was eating and not buying trigger foods, that would do the trick for me. Well, I bought about 20 sheets of my favorite dark chocolate a couple months ago, and each sheet is about 600 calories. And I’ve been going through these like nobody’s business because it’s the only sweet thing in the house. I think I have roughly 8 left. And I’ve noticed that any time I eat more than 1/3 of a sheet, I get a tummy ache. Does that stop me? No of course not why would that stop me – I am a total addict for sugar who would never let something as pathetic as a tummy ache get in the way of tasting that sweet goodness I’ve also been baking a lot of bread and also eating a lot of air-popped popcorn.

I threw the remaining popcorn out today. That stuff is just bad for me. I pulled out the things I know are not going to be part of my food regime going forward. There’s not much left. I attempted to make some bread using almond meal – it totally sucks, so I finally gave myself permission to throw that out. I have some soups and actually that’s about all that is left.

I really don’t feel good right now in so many different ways.

This very moment I feel phsyically sick to my stomach and my clothes are not quite fitting me the same way. I’ve definitely gained weight. Health-wise I just do not feel good. I do not feel good about myself. I don’t feel good in my clothes. I don’t feel like I’m making any progress in something that’s important to me. My sleep is all over the place. I feel generally lethargic. Just badness all around. I just feel disgusting, gross, and yeah, it disturbs me greatly.

I need to change something and probably before the 1st. Inconvenient I guess since I can’t say it’s a New Year’s Resolution, but I don’t want to wait a week to do this. Or maybe convenient, because you can read about it a week ahead of time and then you can be fired up to do yours when the rest of the world does? Hmmm 🙂 The world works in mysterious ways!

I will be making a major shift soon. Just sort of half assing this is not working for me. “Working out most days and eating pretty well most days” did not get me anywhere, in fact, took me a bit farther away from where I wanted to go.

Wishing you the best in your changes too –
Kasia

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