My man TR asks me to do this one little exercise. Name something I loooooooooooove to do, and Name something I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate to do, and then name which of the six ‘essential human needs’ (according to him) they meet. Then try to make the shit you should do but don’t, meet more of your needs. They are:
Certainty (Security, Comfort)
Okay, I’m game.
I love to play a good board game with a group of engaged people. The uncertainty is in how it will play out and who will win. I get the connection of being with people who are having fun, and I’m enjoying their company. If it’s a good board game, I’m mentally challenged in a variety of ways so I may feel I’m growing. Just being present and participating is contributing to the game and the atmosphere. Not really too sure how it meets Certainty… maybe knowing that we are all there to have fun, and no matter what happens, we are still friends at the end? And Significance. You know, I have not always had a group of people to play board games with. So when I get invited to go play one I like with people I like, I like that. It makes me feel like I matter, and my presence is requested, and they want to play with me, and that’s pretty cool.
I hate doing really tedious spring cleaning chores like scrubbing trim and walls. I don’t feel like I’m growing. If there is a contribution to the house, it’s small, other than it helps the house feel a teeny bit cleaner. I’m connected to no one in doing it, chances are no one else cares, and I’m doing it by myself. Nothing about it makes me feel significant. There’s no variety other than it’s never ending. And I guess it’s certain there’s no variety – so it meets that, I suppose? I know how many there are, and how clean they are? And how much it will suck to clean them? Haha 🙂
So – the point is – the things you love to do meet more needs. The things you hate to do don’t. Meeting needs is a good idea. The more needs you meet, the more you want/crave to do the thing.
So how to apply this?
I think asking yourself some questions might help.
- How might this bring stability to my life? How will I feel after I do the thing?
- How might this surprise me? Can I make it a game?
- Can I take pride in this? Is there a way I can do this that will make me, or someone else, proud?
- How is this activity related to anyone else? Can I connect to them through this activity?
- Can I improve in any way in doing this activity?
- Does this activity help anything or anyone at all?
Today, the thing I am most dreading doing is a couple of nagging errands around the house. As an example, I have a couple of things I need to try to sell and get some money out of them.
- I’ll have a more serene space when they’re gone. I’ll feel accomplished getting it off my plate.
- I might get more money than I thought I might get. It might be stupid easy to do and I’m making a big deal over nothing. It might not even take all that much time to do. How fast could I do it?
- I’ll be glad to have the space and the cash. I’ll get to brag about my Goodwill Arbitrage haha 🙂 The money would be a good example of my prowess, oh snap
- Other people can use these items and if I sell to them, we both win because I’ll price them well.
- Well I can strengthen my “self discipline” muscle in that doing something I’m dreading once makes it easier to do the second, third, fourth time.
- It helps me by giving me money and space, it helps the person buying the items because presumably they needed it and the price I’d sell it for is likely their best option for getting the item, so they’ll likely save money buying from me too.
That was surprisingly effective… think I will need to do this the next time I have some down time!