Most people’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of the people in your life. Everyone has standards, but also everyone has needs, which include love, connection, and being significant to the people around us. The people who we love and can make us feel loved. If you care about how a person near you feels, that person has the ability to influence the way you think, and therefore perform, because we all seek love and connection.
Therefore, if you have people around you that have a lower expectation for what they want for themselves than you do, that can make it very difficult to achieve your goal.
As an example, say you have a goal to lose weight and keep it off, but no one else around you has a body like the one you want. First, once you set this higher standard for yourself, you’ve introduced some conflict into your life. Once you have a higher expectation for your life, it’s going to be harder to see your friends as overweight, and engaging in behaviors that keep them overweight. But they’re your people and you love them, so of course you don’t want to make them wrong, stop loving them, or disconnect from them. And likewise, the people near you want to be loved by you and connected to you. So you may find them saying things like, “Oh it’s just this one time, you can make an exception” or “Hey, you don’t need to be so rigid about your diet.” They probably aren’t being malicious. They just sense subconsciously that the connection between you is weakening, because you are on a success train and they are not on board with you. The distance between you has started to grow, and they subconsciously sense that loss of connection. So it can happen that people become vested in making sure you maintain your status quo, rather than allowing you to improve yourself.
So the flipside of this can work as well; by connecting with others that have higher standards than you, in order to continue and strengthen that connection, you will raise the standards of your behavior.
Who you spend time with is who you become. So pick who you spend your time with very carefully.
One major key to success is to find someone who is doing or has already done something that you aspire to. Find someone already succeeding and is living what you want to live. If you don’t have someone like this in your life, you should consider hiring a paid coach. A paid coach can’t and won’t bail on you, because that is precisely what you’re paying that person to prevent. It’s their job.
Coaches are people that live their lives by a higher standard. Coaches are people who life in a way that you want to live, and their entire focus as a coach is to make sure you follow through on living that way too. Because they’ve been where you are, you can’t manipulate them. Because they care about you, they care enough not to let you lie to yourself and help you make progress faster. They also reinforce the progress you’ve already made, and help you get back on track when you fall off (and we all do fall off.) So in the end, you do what you came to do. And when you do what you came to do, you will get to where you want to go.
So who are you going to do it with? Who are you going to share your victory with? Who will you tell your commitment to? Who will you commit to? Who will hold you to your new standard for real and not let you off the hook? Who will lead you by example? Who do you not want to lose face with, so you make sure to follow through even when it’s not easy and not comfortable? Who will help you achieve the experience of being who you know you really are?
This is why I offer coaching. The tenets of goal achievement are universal, and I’m happy to consider helping with any goal, but I especially excel when it comes to two key areas: Losing Weight, and Becoming Financially Independent.
One Time Consultation – 60 Minutes – $60
This product is for those who need help with motivation, locating barriers and blocks, and coming up with a strategy or game plan to achieve your goal. This consultation is geared up to fire you up, and get you going in the right direction of living your peak life. We will discuss your goal, where you are, and together devise a plan to get where you want to go.
Package of Six 1-Hour Consultations – $300
This package is for those seeking an ongoing coaching relationship in the pursuit of any goal. We will start with discussing your current starting place, your goals, and coming up with a plan. Then we will check in with each other on a customized schedule to discuss any progress that has been made, any additional barriers you’ve encountered, and what we can do to supercharge your progress. This is the package you want if you want someone to make sure you take action, keep you accountable over time, and someone to troubleshoot problems you may encounter along the way.
To inquire about a consultation, establishing a coaching relationship or general information, I can be reached at email@example.com.